某男粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是 sex。
该男思之久已，毅然下笔：「Once a week。」
簽证官观后暴笑，曰：「This item should be filled in with male or female！」
该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下：「Female。」
官楞之，曰：「Shouldn’t it be male？」
男急释曰：「I am a normal man, so I have sex with female。」
* * * * * * * * * * *
某公司经理叫秘书转呈公文给老板，「报告老板，下个月欧洲有一批订单，我觉得公司需要派人去和他们开会。」
老板在公文后面短短簽下 :「Go a head！」
经理收到之后，马上指示下属买机票、拟行程，自己则马上整理行李。
临出发，被秘书挡下来。
秘书：「你要干什么？」
经理：「去欧洲开会啊！」
秘书：「老板同意了妈？」
经理：「老板不是批『go a head 』吗？」
秘书：「你来公司那么久，难道你还不知道老板的英文程度吗？老板的意思是：『去个头！』」
* * * * * * * * * * *
有位国内来的女士，个性喜爱沾便宜。
某日纽约曼哈顿名牌衣饰大减价，她去拣便宜，选来选去，终于挑到一件，但样式新潮，不敢确定是女装还是男装。
正巧一位又高又壮又黑的男服务员朝她走过来，就用英语问他：「 For girl or boy？」
黑人回答：「Unisex！」
她听成「You need sex」，岂不是性骚扰？又怕自己听错，露出错愕怀疑的神情。
黑服务员见状，一个字母一个字母地解释：「U – N – I – SEX！」
这次她听的很清楚「You and I Sex！」。。。
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一位老兄独自到纽约出差，工作之余，打算看看风景名胜，为此他查考了大量的资料，选择去自由女神像。为了周全，甚至把负责自由女神参观的联系电话都找到了 ….666-2613
於是，他叫了辆计程车準备出发，下面是他和计程车司机的谈话～
计程车司机问道：「Where do you want to go, Sir？」
老兄不知道自由女神像英文称为「Statue of Liberty」
他想自由应该是 FREE，女神大概是 WOMAN，於是回答司机：「 FREE WOMAN！」
司机听成「免费的女人」，马上道：「What？Oh！Hey man, here is America, nothing is free！」（「什么？喂！老兄，这里是美国，样样都要花钱，没有免费的玩意儿！」）
老兄：「Oh！How come！I read it from yellow page…
See, here is the phone number, 『sex-sex-sex two-sex-one-free』。 」
×******************************************************
I Didn’t Buy Anything
This is a true story about me. I feel pretty funny in the today’s standard and would like to share with the friends here.
I came to the US in the mid 80’s. Our old friends may still remember the political and economic situations in China in those years. Before leaving the country, we went through an overseas-going training. Among the materials covered, the trainer told a sad story about an absent minded Chinese professor who was a visiting scholar at a famous US university. One day, this professor went shopping. He found his item and walked toward the front door while his mind was fully occupied by his research project. The next thing was that the security alarm sounded and he was caught for stealing. This professor, already famous in China, could not take the humiliation easily and committed suicide after being released by the police.
Why I have to tell the previous story? Because I do not want you to say “You are stupid” after reading my own story. Have to protect myself, right?
Upon the arrival of the university town, I immediately went to K-Mart for some necessities. However, I could not find anything there within my limited budget ($360 stipend per month) and decided to go on to another store. However, having not gotten used to the American open-shelf style stores, I felt really uncomfortable to walk out the store empty handed. After some mental struggles, I went to one girl casher (I thought I was handsome enough and she should treat me well) and uttered “I didn’t buy anything.”
She stared in my eyes. Afraid of my poor English, I said the same thing again. Her eyes grew even bigger and rounder. My face turned red and thought “Gee, is my English that bad even my TOEFL scored more than 600 points”.
Quickly checked all my words and grammar, I repeated the sentence “I didn’t buy anything.”
After one minute or so (I guess she had finally realized why I acted that way), she smiled and said “I know. Just go.”
My friend, you must have figured out what I did afterwards, right?
完毕！
找饭辙去矣！
朗里个朗，朗里个朗，朗里个朗，。。。
噹里个噹,噹里个噹,回收二手自行车,二手彩电洗衣机,年轻少妇。。。
如果巩方超看懂了一个，请你们大餐
浪里格朗 ；浪里格朗 什么都没看懂
不错不错，菜叔好样滴
哈哈。。。这好笑。。。
搞笑的勒！！！！;P
哈哈哈。
Once a week 笑翻了